Why Most People Will Never Get a “Yes”

                                           Photo by  Brooke Cagle  on  Unsplash

                                           Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Most people have a hard time getting help from people

  • Are you like most people and struggle to get people to say “yes” to you?
  • Are you tired of receiving a “no”?
  • Are you willing to do what it takes to get a “yes”?

Most people have a hard time getting people to say “yes” to them. They ask nicely, they send well-written messages, etc. Some are persistent, some aren’t.

No matter what, they still don’t get a “yes”.

But here’s the truth:

Most people are not willing to do what it truly takes to get a “yes”.


How People Do Get a “Yes”

Do not be a beggar, be a giver

That is, in my experience, the best way to get a “yes” from someone.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill

In the past year, I’ve got so many people to say “yes” to me. I didn’t immediately understand what change I did to make that happen, but it’s obvious in hindsight.

I simply started giving.

Genuinely giving.

What that means is that you never even aim to ask for anything. You just aim to give value to people.

Then, if/when comes time to ask for something, you will almost always get a “yes”. Of course, you have to be reasonable too.

Getting a “yes” is about having a mutual relationship. It’s not about asking and leaving. It’s about giving and receiving, giving and receiving, etc.

It’s a cycle.

It is, in essence, a friendship.

Now comes the question of how to add value to people. That, in itself, can be harder than actually giving, especially if you don’t know the person personally.


3 Ways to Add Value to Someone

1. Do some research

If you’re trying to reach out to someone you don’t know, you may want to try the following:

  • Find their social media accounts and get an idea of what kind of person they are. Don’t be creepy though;
  • If the person is somewhat famous, look up their personal website or their wikipedia page. Beware of false information;
  • Find their most approachable friends and ask them questions. Again, don’t be creepy;
  • If the person has written books, read them;
  • If the person has a blog, read the blog.

Once you have a better idea of who they really are, adding value to them is suddenly much easier. They like to read? Recommend them a book. Be creative. Be authentic. Give them something they want based on your research.

2. Simply ask them how you can help them

You’d be surprised how much information you can get doing that. You’d also be surprised to see how many people don’t even try, by fear of getting rejected.

“Just showing up is half the battle.” — Woody Allen

If you don’t try, you don’t know if it will work or not.

Countless times I’ve asked and received.

When I hear people say that asking would be a guaranteed rejection, I have to put sense into their heads. It’s never a guarantee.

I’m not saying odds are in your favour when you simply ask, but it’s so easy and cheap that it’s worth trying, almost every time.

3. Give and adjust

If you know the person’s interests, you can always find something to give. It may not be spot on, but it’s recognized nonetheless.

If you get a response, you’ve opened up the line of communication. From there, you may get a better idea of what they really need. If not, you can either ask them directly, or keep trying.


What to give

Give something that adds value to the person, it’s that simple.

Contrary to most people’s beliefs, something tangible is rarely the solution, with the exception of a good book maybe.

If you contribute to a person’s health, wealth, love or happiness, you are adding value to them. These are what Tai Lopez calls the 4 pillars of life in his 67 Steps program.

Knowing that, you’ve got a limitless amount of options.

There’s no right or wrong.

There’s better, for sure, and it depends on the person, but adding value to their health, wealth, love or happiness is a surefire way to get noticed at least.




  • Are you willing to do what it takes to get a “yes”?
  • Are you ready to give before receiving?
  • Are you ready to give with no pretence of ever receiving anything in exchange?

I’ve experienced a radical shift when I became more of a giver. But it’s not only me. Churchill said the same, and so do many other people you and I look up to. You don’t get a “yes” by giving not giving a “yes” yourself. You don’t get to the top without giving more than you receive.

So I challenge you. Dare give more than you take, and you’ll notice how much more willing people will be to help you.

You can do this!

Thanks for reading, sharing, and following! :)

First published here: https://medium.com/swlh/why-most-people-will-never-get-a-yes-6de336f2bb8f